Challenging Safety behaviours

The hardest thing to change...

One by one I challenged the external Locus of Control statements, along with the Social Anxiety and Self-Esteem points.   Like most things in life it hasn’t been easy but it is most definitely worth it, I’ve had to put in time, hard work and effort to look at my limiting belief systems and unhelpful thinking styles and changing them to more helpful, positive ones. 

There I was happily working my way through the changes when I realised it was time to start challenging my safety behaviours.  This was difficult at first as I couldn't see how I was going to get past most of them.  Here are a few of the most significant ones:

Hand Gel
I always carried hand gel in my handbag and would consider that I over-used it (often to the point that food would taste of it that I touched!).  I had two bottles on the go the day Paul asked me to consider giving it up.  I gave him the bottle I had in my bag at the time and when I got home I fully intended to put the other bottle in the car as a back-up.  The bottle never made it to the car and two weeks later I decided I would hand it over to Paul!  

Anti-nausea tablets
This stems from several visits to the doctor as a young adult for symptoms such as nausea and bloating that were unexplained.  The first time I visited, aged about 18, my doctor asked whether I might be pregnant!  (I wasn't).  I was then prescribed a series of medication that didn't work until at some point in my thirties when I was prescribed anti-nausea tablets.  These did at least stop me from feeling sick so I kept requesting repeat prescriptions.  Eventually, a couple of years ago I found out my problem was lactose intolerance and I started to avoid dairy products where possible (which reduced the nausea significantly).  About a year ago I tried to give up the prescribed tablets and was recommended homeopathic ones.  I always kept these with me 'just in case'.  When I first challenged this behaviour, the tablets made it as far as the bathroom cabinet.  Two days before the end of my programme I felt brave enough to wash them down the sink!

Public transport
This includes bus, train and of course ferries!  I love my holidays and am not at all afraid of flying (although I spent the majority of the flight monitoring people around me for signs they might be sick!).  My sister will tell a story when it was just the two of us on a flight last year, during an attempt to land the pilot encountered a problem.  She and many others were panicking thinking the worst was about to happen.  I was calm and kept telling her we would be fine.  If the man next to me had been sick though it would have been a different story!
On a recent holiday to New York my husband booked a boat trip.  We had been on a boat trip in the Hudson on a previous trip, on a large vessel (as I mentioned, I tried not to let my fear stop me from doing things I really wanted to do).  On this occasion, however, the boat was a schooner and as I watched it bobbing about in the harbour an hour before we were due to board you can imagine the anxiety - not helped by the woman who was trying to put me at ease telling me that if I was sick the crew would look after me!  My husband was on the verge of giving up and going back to the hotel but I went through with it and did actually enjoy the experience (despite feeling nauseous through anxiety the whole time).
I have used trains but was always anxious about it.  During the programme I challenged myself to take a train into Birmingham by myself which I did without anxiety.  I enjoyed it so much I repeated it again before the programme ended.  On a recent trip to London I managed to fit in all means on public transport...taxi - train - bus - tube - boat - DLR - cable car and plane (simulator!).  I could have cried with happiness on the boat as this has always been the biggest anxiety creator for me.  I just sat back and enjoyed the trip - and the sparkling wine!

I have challenged and stopped carrying out all of my safety behaviours and I have tried so many new activities in addition to working through the book that I wonder what I was doing with my time before I started!  

Next time - Let it go!